Today, I’ve been on this planet for 40 years.
I’ve done some brilliant things.
I’ve done many not-so-brilliant things.
I had created all this pressure around my birthday. It seems that because there is now a zero in the number that it is more significant somehow. All of a sudden, I was in a panic because there were all these societal ‘supposed-to’s’ that I had taken on.
There were all these external supposed-to's:
- Finish writing this book by the time I turn 40.
- Go on an epic adventure in Bali.
- Have a gigantic party because everyone has this “Oh wow, 40!” reaction to me.
On top of that there were the internal thoughts of:
- “I should really have done more with my life by now,”
- “Shouldn’t I be making more money and doing more adult-like things in general?”
- “Will I ever get married?”
- and my personal fave - “Do the lessons ever stop?!”
I spent months allowing these not-so-brilliant thoughts to stress me out.
Then, I did something more brilliant.
I just let it all go.
- My book is a living, breathing thing and it will be finished when it has decided that it is finished.
- If and when I am meant to be in Bali, I will find myself there.
- I can have a party whenever I want to because every day is an opportunity to celebrate.
- I’ve done exactly what I was supposed to have done by this time in my life.
- Money is a flow currency and comes and goes.
- I’m an adult who is still very connected to my inner child.
- Connection is more important to me than marriage.
- No, the lessons don’t ever stop. Instead, my life skills are on point, my nervous system is solid, and my reactions to others are more kind and compassionate than they’ve ever been.
So what do I want for my 40th birthday?
I want to gift myself the present of my own presence
and I want you to do the same for yourself.
I want the world to LOVE MORE.
I want people to share how much they appreciate each other. I want there to be lots of hugs. Smiles. Giggles. More hugs. I want lots of heartfelt prayers. They work. I want lots of self care and self love. I want lots and lots and lots of kindness. And more Love. Again.